BARF....it's VD time

With the impending day approaching, where women get all gooey and expecting chocolates and flowers from their other half, I just want to gag. It is nothing but a commercialized, money making retarded day all in the name of love! How many men really get excited over this dreaded day? Unless of course you are planning a cliché proposal on this wonderful day that will make her melt like burnt butter, not that any one else has ever thought of that before...sigh. Way to be original, you romantic robot you!!!

I have referred to this day with a few different names, most used was "Happy VD" but now I am dubbing it Vagina Day, because that is exactly what it is. I can remember the first year that I was going to be single in over 15 years and that day was fast approaching. I was worried that I was going to fall into the worst depression over being alone. No one to give me dead flowers and a box of "how's my ass look now?" chocolates. What I found was it was the happiest day I had had in many years!!! There was no running around trying to find that "perfect" card or the expectations of how much thought the man put into his love for me. Yea let me say I realized I was usually a last minute thought, I mean come on it is hard to remember when that holiday was going to happen every year.

http://www.history.com/topics/valentines-day




In so many ways I hate following the masses, yes, I celebrate Christmas and absolutely LOVE Halloween....but with each year I am growing less tolerant to the majority of the holidays. Mainly because of the commercialization taking over the actual meaning of that day. Hey who doesn't like to receive presents??? LOL I know I do, but I guess my thing here is the meaning behind the gifts are fading. Give me a well thought out gift that costs less than $50.00 but has so much meaning behind it over expensive gifts any day of the week. OK I won't so no to a well thought out shiny bling bling, I'm not an idiot here...LOL But what I would love to have happen is to receive such a gift in a way that is not cliché, I want it done based on who we are as a couple. And with that idea in mind it could mean waking me up in the middle of the night for awesome sleepy sex but having to remove said gift that happens to be tied to his nut sack....LMFAO sorry for the visual.

Valentines Day is so NOT original, it is Hallmarks favorite day for us saps trying to prove one day a year how we feel about our other half. Nope do not give me a Valentine on this stupidest of days, but by all means make me a puddle of gooey happiness some random day/s throughout the year, as I will do my best to do the same random acts of love and honoring my partner. To hell with the masses create your own traditions create your own version of Vagina day but remember to make it equally enjoyable and therefore creating happy vagina/penis days (note plural) of mutual awesomeness!!! Again this coincides with romance being a dead language and sweeping your lover off their feet throughout the year!!!!


Hey don't get me wrong here, if you are all for Valentines day and look forward to that one day a year to get all overly mushy, have at it. I just want more than one day a year to look forward to my lover doing something sweet and romantic for me and I him.

Romance...dead and gone???

Seems in this day and age everything is expected to move quickly....internet connection, lines at the grocery store and relationships. Life has become fast paced, I am as guilty as the next person in wanting my coffee NOW, wanting a fast internet connection and so forth. Holy hell, I cannot even imagine dealing with dial up ever again without the urge to throw my lap top out a window and/or punch someone in the face because I am made to wait. Sadly I am seeing the same trend in relationships. I watch, and again I have been guilty of this before, people jump from one person to another, in love in a matter of weeks. Only to find out in my experiences, I was never actually in "love" but more lust in the moment. Ahhh yes I do have a point here (I think LOL)

Romance.....is it a dead language today? Any one ever fantasize about being "courted" any more? I know I have and get all soaked panty syndrome over the thoughts of a guy truly "courting" me and not just trying to get my panties to hit the floor in record time. Now understand I am not by any means saying anything negative about wanting to get it on with a person who you are attracted to. I am in many ways a hopeless romantic with a huge side of deviant perversion O.o.  Basically I want a sweet kiss on the forehead or an over empowering embrace BEFORE you spank my ass. Is that too much to ask for? Feed me before you bed me please =]

Today I see relationships that remind me of a fast food drive through...you pull up, get what you need and then drive off. Am I saying this is how it is with every one..nope not at all, but I am seeing it more today than I did 25 years ago. Oh and this goes for both men and women, I believe women today are much more aggressive about their sex lives than they use to be and I am loving it!! Well as I am a women and a horny one at that!!! Oh and screw you people who high five the guy for getting laid and down the women who do the same thing. I embrace my slut side completely :) I have a vagina with needs dammit!!

Oh back on track I go......

So all sluttiness aside, I want to be swept off my feet by a romantic candle lit dinner (don't forget the chocolate covered strawberries or my wetness just became death valley) or a picnic at a park/beach. Hell it doesn't matter what it is as long as some thought goes into making it happen. THAT is the key, how much thought was put into whatever was planned? Anyone can walk into a restaurant and have dinner....whoopty doo aren't you special!!! EFFORT...show the person you love that you actually care, saying I love you is nice but showing it through actions is a sure fire way to get the best oral sex you could imagine!! Hell attempt poetry...yea guys don't always write as well as women (sorry it is mostly true, emotional wise at least) either way men or women on the receiving end of that piss poor attempt at poetry will be moved by the thought that went into that poorly written jumble you claim is poetry ...we are by no means expecting or claim to be the next William Shakespeare. If/when I have received such letters via emails or texts I get instant lady wood, clean up on isle 3, moment happens.

Of course this is all generalized and in order to make it work and re-ignite romance it takes 2...or 3..or 4, whatever you relationship situation happens to be...hey I am not judging here :) it takes all parties involved to make an effort, do not leave it on the shoulders of just one person. So ladies if you want your man to be more romantic then you also need to step it up and romance your man. Make him feel like he is the King of your universe =] no worries he can always be dethroned and so can you if it is deserved.

                                              ( now how's that for a serenade?? swoon)

Thought, effort and genuine actions go a long way when trying to sweep your partner off their feet. I know for myself actions speak louder than words, but I will also admit that when my man gives me beautiful compliments I truly just melt inside. I tend to write better than I speak, but I do realize that I need to reciprocate more because I know it will make him feel good to hear praise and adoration fall from my lips as well. In ways my mind can be "old fashion" and I tend to wait on the man to "wine and dine" me. So I need to step my shit up as well and sweep my man off his feet when he least expects it. Nothing makes a bad day better than when their partner goes that extra mile to show them they are loved and appreciated for all they do. So lets get back to basics here and treat relationships as they are meant to be treated, with work and constant effort to keep it alive!!

 

Oh and don't forget the mind blowing sex!!!!!

 

 

Oral Sex

Now that I have your attention =]

I have read a lot of various posts/point of views on this particular subject and each time it makes me think; what the fuck is wrong with a person who does not like oral sex? Hey I am not downing another persons feelings here but seriously......no oral sex? My mind cannot wrap around it at all. With that said, I am an equal opportunist and like to get just as much as I give. From my experience it is very difficult to find that happy medium. Either the guy (in my case) is an oral junkie or oral phobic, or at least that is how it feels.

I have never had a guy turn down a blow job...nope not once, and as I lay there waiting for my turn and it doesn't come (no pun intended) it can be very frustrating. I stupidly dated one guy for close to 8-9 months and during that time each sexual act we shared ALWAYS included a blow job for him, I could count on one hand how many times I was given oral in that time frame. Oh I started to form a complex...feminine odor perhaps??? Nope that wasn't it...taste??? IDK I didn't eat pussy to compare LOL I could only go by what I was told by past lovers and the occasional finger inserted in my mouth asking how I liked the taste of myself......nope wasn't bad at all actually :)

I have come to the conclusion some people are just not that into it. And that is fine, but fuck you and wanting a blow job when you aren't willing to eat my pussy. Oh and oral sex should be done with some passion.....if you are doing it to please your partner GREAT, but for the love of all that is cumtastic put forth some effort!!! There has been plenty of times I physically just did not want to do the deed, but knowing how much my partner liked it I would at least try! Usually it would start off as a chore but the more I tried the more I truly did loosen up and get into it regardless of that nagging migraine I was dealing with.

As for you men.....my god, you all (unless your gay, no offense intended) boast or brag to your fellow man card holders how you rocked that chic's world last night....but did you, really? Lots of us women love a good hard fucking...OK I know I do..LOL but oral or cunnilingus or eating pussy for myself, and many women I've talked to on this subject, prefer that you take your time, savor, worship our pussy as if it was the best dessert you have ever had. Do not rush to make us cum, take your time learn what works on her. Don't go using the same old shit from woman to woman. Guess what...We don't all get off the same way and we all have different "hot" spots. Yep each one of us is our own personal puzzle that you need to figure out how to put it all together.

 HEY, that goes for you women too, try worshiping his throbbing cock, treat it as if you are fulfilling their dying wish for the best oral sex they ever had! Not all men are the same either and have different sensitive spots.....make it a game of trying to figure it out.I am no fool and of course this is not going to be the case each and every time you have oral sex. This is not 50 Shades of holy hell sex right from the start!!Come back to reality pretty please.....But it better be more than 70% of the time. There better be variety, add some finger play, toys, or whatever your filthy mind can conjure up. If you eat spaghetti every night you truly get bored and/or down right sick at the thought of eating it again. Same goes for sex my fellow sex fiends :)

One other solution is this...if you (being man or woman) are truly not into giving oral sex, then find a partner that feels the same way. because it is not fair to the other person who is always performing and not getting anything in return! Ooohhh but you like receiving, yea well fuck you, you lazy piece of shit, it is called give and take!!! If you are all about taking and not giving then I curse your selfish genitals to suffer a never ending case of limp dick or desert dry snatch till you learn to play fairly in that wonderful adult sand box known as the bedroom.